Right speech and gossip

You must not go about spreading slander among your people. You must not endanger the life of your neighbor. I am the LORD.

Stay far away from a false accusation. Do not kill the innocent or the just, for I will not acquit the guilty.

Do not deny justice or show partiality. Do not accept a bribe, for a bribe blinds the eyes of the wise and twists the words of the righteous.

The words of a gossip are like choice morsels that go down into the inmost being.

The words of a gossip are like choice morsels that go down into the inmost being.

A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.

when we are slandered, we answer gently. Up to this moment we have become the scum of the earth, the refuse of the world.

“Their mouths are full of cursing and bitterness.”

For I am afraid that when I come, I may not find you as I wish, and you may not find me as you wish. I fear that there may be quarreling, jealousy, rage, rivalry, slander, gossip, arrogance, and disorder.

And from where do we derive that if the summoned person behaves disrespectfully toward the agent of the court, and the agent comes back and reports his conduct, that this is not considered slander? As it is written: “Will you put out the eyes of these men?” (Numbers 16:14). Dathan and Abiram spoke these words to the messenger that Moses had sent to them, and the messenger reported them back to Moses.

The Gemara asks: Is that to say that all instances of speaking [dibbur] indicate harsh language? The Gemara answers: Yes, as it is written with regard to Joseph’s brothers: “The man, the lord of the land, spoke [dibber] harshly to us” (Genesis 42:30). The Gemara asks: But isn’t it taught in a baraita with regard to the verse: “Then they who feared the Lord spoke [nidberu] with one another” (Malachi 3:16), that the term “they spoke” is nothing other than a term of gentleness, and likewise, the same is true of the verse which states: “He subdues [yadber] peoples under us” (Psalms 47:4), meaning that God will calmly and gently conduct the nations under the influence of the Jewish people? The Gemara answers: The meaning of dibber is discrete and the meaning of yadber is discrete. There is a difference between the two conjugations of the same root. The Gemara provides a mnemonic for the disputes involving Rabbi Yehuda that follow: Rabbis; mehemni, i.e., the dispute with Rabbi Neḥemya; and the dispute with regard to Torah scrolls sewn with threads of flax. The Gemara resumes the discussion of the harsh language employed in the portion discussing murderers in the book of Joshua. Rabbi Yehuda and the Rabbis disagree with regard to this matter. One says harsh language was employed because Joshua delayed fulfilling the mitzva of designating cities of refuge, and one says it is because the cities of refuge are a mitzva of the Torah, and therefore they warrant emphasis.

The Torah states: “And they told him, and said: We came to the land to which you sent us, and it also flows with milk and honey” (Numbers 13:27), and then it is written: “However the people that dwell in the land are fierce” (Numbers 13:28). Why did the spies praise the land and then slander it? Rabbi Yoḥanan says three statements in the name of Rabbi Meir, represented by the mnemonic device: Truth, alone, borrowing. The first statement answers this question: Any slander that does not begin with a truthful statement ultimately does not stand, i.e., it is not accepted by others.

Woe unto every slandering traducer

Detracter, spreader abroad of slanders

Lo! those who love that slander should be spread concerning those who believe, theirs will be a painful punishment in the world and the Hereafter. Allah knoweth. Ye know not

Narrated Az-Zuhri: ʿUrwa bin Az-Zubair, Saʿid bin Al-Musaiyab, 'Al-Qama bin Waqqas and 'Ubaidullah bin ʿAbdullah related the narration of ʿAisha, the wife of the Prophet, when the slanderers had said about her what they had said and Allah later declared her innocence. Each of them related a part of the narration (wherein) the Prophet (ﷺ) said (to ʿAisha). "If you are innocent, then Allah will declare your innocence: but if you have committed a sin, then ask for Allah's Forgiveness and repent to Him." ʿAisha said, "By Allah, I find no example for my case except that of Joseph's father (when he said), 'So (for me) patience is most fitting.' " Then Allah revealed the ten Verses:-- "Verily those who spread the slander are a gang amongst you

Narrated Abu Huraira: A man came to the Prophet (ﷺ) and demanded his debts and used harsh words. The companions of the Prophet wanted to harm him, but the Prophet (ﷺ) said, "Leave him, as the creditor (owner of the right) has the right to speak

Narrated ʿUrwa bin Az-Zubair: Saʿid bin Al-Musaiyab, 'Alqama bin Waqqas and 'Ubaidullah bin ʿAbdullah regarding the narrating of the forged statement against ʿAisha, the wife of the Prophet, when the slanderers said what they said and Allah revealed her innocence. ʿAisha said, "But by Allah, I did not think that Allah, (to confirm my innocence), would reveal Divine Inspiration which would be recited, for I consider myself too unimportant to be talked about by Allah through Divine Inspiration revealed for recitation, but I hoped that Allah's Messenger (ﷺ) might have a dream in which Allah would reveal my innocence. So Allah revealed:-- 'Verily! Those who spread the slander are a gang among you...' (The ten Verses in Suratan- Nur)

Harmlessness, truth, absence of wrath, renunciation, contentment, straightforwardness, compassion towards all, uncovetousness, courtesy, modesty, and constancy.

Your enemies will spread scandal and mock your courage. Is there anything more humiliating?

O Arjuna! Why give way to unmanliness? O thou, who art the terror of thy enemies! Shake off such shameful effeminacy and make ready to act!

Yama said: The good is one thing and the pleasant another. These two, having different ends, bind a man. It is well with him who chooses the good. He who chooses the pleasant misses the true end. The good and the pleasant approach man; the wise examines both and discriminates between them; the wise prefers the good to the pleasant, but the foolish man chooses the pleasant through love of bodily pleasure.

The face of Truth is hidden by a golden disk. O Pushan (Effulgent Being)! Uncover (Thy face) that I, the worshipper of Truth, may behold Thee. O Pushan! O Sun, sole traveller of the heavens, controller of all, son of Prajapati, withdraw Thy rays and gather up Thy burning effulgence. Now through Thy Grace I behold Thy blessed and glorious form. The Purusha (Effulgent Being) who dwells within Thee, I am He. May my life-breath go to the all-pervading and immortal Prana, and let this body be burned to ashes. Om! O mind, remember thy deeds! O mind, remember, remember thy deeds! Remember! O Agni (Bright Being)! Lead us to blessedness by the good path. O Lord! Thou knowest all our deeds, remove all evil and delusion from us. To Thee we offer our prostrations and supplications again and again.

If the slayer thinks that he slays, or if the slain thinks that he is slain, both of these know not. For It neither slays nor is It slain.

Don’t speak harshly, they may speak harshly back. For aggressive speech is painful, and the rod may spring back on you.

Guard against ill-tempered words, be restrained in speech. Giving up bad verbal conduct, conduct yourself well in speech.

Misconduct is a woman’s stain. A giver’s stain is stinginess. Bad qualities are a stain in this world and the next.

“Speak only those words that do not hurt yourself nor harm others; such speech is truly well spoken. Speak only pleasing words, words gladly welcomed. Pleasing words are those that bring nothing bad to others. Truth itself is undying speech: this is an ancient teaching. Good people say the teaching and meaning are grounded in truth. The words spoken by the Buddha for finding the sanctuary, extinguishment, for making an end of suffering: this really is the best kind of speech.”

“Speak only those words that do not hurt yourself nor harm others; such speech is truly well spoken. Speak only pleasing words, words gladly welcomed. Pleasing words are those that bring nothing bad to others. Truth itself is undying speech: this is an ancient teaching. Good people say the teaching and meaning are grounded in truth. The words spoken by the Buddha for finding the sanctuary, extinguishment, for making an end of suffering, this really is the best kind of speech.”

And how is unprincipled and immoral conduct fourfold by way of speech? It’s when someone lies. They’re summoned to a council, an assembly, a family meeting, a guild, or to the royal court, and asked to bear witness: ‘Please, my friend, say what you know.’ Not knowing, they say ‘I know.’ Knowing, they say ‘I don’t know.’ Not seeing, they say ‘I see.’ And seeing, they say ‘I don’t see.’ So they deliberately lie for the sake of themselves or another, or for some trivial worldly reason. They backbite. They repeat in one place what they heard in another so as to divide people against each other. And so they divide those who are harmonious, supporting division, delighting in division, loving division, speaking words that promote division. They speak harshly. They use the kinds of words that are cruel, nasty, hurtful, offensive, bordering on anger, not leading to immersion. They talk nonsense. Their speech is untimely, and is neither factual nor beneficial. It has nothing to do with the teaching or the training. Their words have no value, and are untimely, unreasonable, rambling, and pointless. This is how unprincipled and immoral conduct is fourfold by way of speech.

Gauree: Slander me, slander me - go ahead, people, and slander me. Slander is pleasing to the Lord's humble servant. Slander is my father, slander is my mother. ||1||Pause|| If I am slandered, I go to heaven; the wealth of the Naam, the Name of the Lord, abides within my mind. If my heart is pure, and I am slandered, then the slanderer washes my clothes. ||1|| One who slanders me is my friend; the slanderer is in my thoughts. The slanderer is the one who prevents me from being slandered. The slanderer wishes me long life. ||2|| I have love and affection for the slanderer. Slander is my salvation. Slander is the best thing for servant Kabeer. The slanderer is drowned, while I am carried across. ||3||20||71||

Salok, Fourth Mehl: One whose heart is filled with jealousy of others, never comes to any good. No one pays any attention to what he says; he is just a fool, crying out endlessly in the wilderness. One whose heart is filled with malicious gossip, is known as a malicious gossip; everything he does is in vain. Night and day, he continually gossips about others; his face has been blackened, and he cannot show it to anyone. The body is the field of action, in this Dark Age of Kali Yuga; as you plant, so shall you harvest. Justice is not passed on mere words; if someone eats poison, he dies.

Those words are acceptable, which, when spoken, bring honor. Harsh words bring only grief. Listen, O foolish and ignorant mind! Those who are pleasing to Him are good. What else is there to be said? ||3|| Wisdom, honor and wealth are in the laps of those whose hearts remain permeated with the Lord. What praise can be offered to them? What other adornments can be bestowed upon them? O Nanak, those who lack the Lord's Glance of Grace cherish neither charity nor the Lord's Name. ||4||4||

Favour and disgrace would seem equally to be feared; honour and great calamity, to be regarded as personal conditions (of the same kind). What is meant by speaking thus of favour and disgrace? Disgrace is being in a low position (after the enjoyment of favour). The getting that (favour) leads to the apprehension (of losing it), and the losing it leads to the fear of (still greater calamity):—this is what is meant by saying that favour and disgrace would seem equally to be feared. And what is meant by saying that honour and great calamity are to be (similarly) regarded as personal conditions? What makes me liable to great calamity is my having the body (which I call myself); if I had not the body, what great calamity could come to me? Therefore he who would administer the kingdom, honouring it as he honours his own person, may be employed to govern it, and he who would administer it with the love which he bears to his own person may be entrusted with it.

There is nothing in the world more soft and weak than water, and yet for attacking things that are firm and strong there is nothing that can take precedence of it;—for there is nothing (so effectual) for which it can be changed. Everyone in the world knows that the soft overcomes the hard, and the weak the strong, but no one is able to carry it out in practice. Therefore a sage has said, / “He who accepts his state’s reproach, / Is hailed therefore its altars’ lord; / To him who bears men’s direful woes / They all the name of King accord.” Words that are strictly true seem to be paradoxical.

Sincere words are not fine; fine words are not sincere. Those who are skilled (in the Tao) do not dispute (about it); the disputatious are not skilled in it. Those who know (the Tao) are not extensively learned; the extensively learned do not know it. The sage does not accumulate (for himself). The more that he expends for others, the more does he possess of his own; the more that he gives to others, the more does he have himself. With all the sharpness of the Way of Heaven, it injures not; with all the doing in the way of the sage he does not strive.